If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
