You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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