i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
