My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
