How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
