If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Text me some of your sweat
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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