my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
