At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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