Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
