That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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