i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
