He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
