Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
