I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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