Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize