his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
