therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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