What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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