I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
