I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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