remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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