I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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