dude i'm inner monologue high
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
