Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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