Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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