so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
