Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
