Your mouth is God's brothel.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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