I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
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I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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