So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
