Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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