There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
