When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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