Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
