woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think I just sharted jello shots
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