I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize