i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Randomize
