Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just blew my weed a kiss
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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