wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize