Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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