somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
