wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
