ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She told me I should be a condom model.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.