Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have already put on my inside pants.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......