yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.