I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.