My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat