dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
