You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
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If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
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Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT