at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
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i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!