She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
