i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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