I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
