Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
