so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
