tell your sister to shave her snatch
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
