margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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