he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
why is half of my head shaved?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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