I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
