I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize