We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
