My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Did I show you my penis last night?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
