I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize