it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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