god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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