I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
